- Parenting, Productivity, Resilience
Exam Results In? Discover Simple Science-Backed Ways To Support Your Teen or Tween
As parents, few moments feel as high-stakes as discussing exam results with your teen. Whether they’ve soared, stumbled, or simply met expectations, how you respond can shape their confidence, mindset, and motivation. And as summer begins, it’s worth considering how this transitional time can impact learning and well-being.
Many families worry about the summer slide — the learning loss that can occur when students take a long break from academic routines. Research shows that students can lose up to two months’ worth of math skills and experience declines in reading fluency during the summer (Cooper et al., 1996). But this doesn’t mean summer should be packed with pressure; the key is to balance restorative downtime with light, engaging learning opportunities. Tools like the Wisely & Co Academic & Wellbeing Planner can help teens set meaningful goals, track progress, and reflect on well-being over the break.
Let’s break down five common exam result scenarios — with science-backed advice on what to say, how to help your teen or tween process outcomes, and how to make the summer both restorative and enriching.
Scenario 1: When They’ve Done Exceptionally Well
What to say:
“I’m so proud of the effort you put in — these results reflect that hard work.”
“What do you feel most proud of?”
“How would you like to celebrate this win?”
What science says: Praising effort over innate ability helps teens build resilience and a growth mindset (Dweck, 2006).
What your teen/tween can say to themselves:
“My hard work made a difference.”
“I’m capable of achieving my goals.”
What to do next: Celebrate achievements with something meaningful — a day out, a favourite meal, or simply time together. Encourage your teen to note strategies that worked well in their planner or journal. Discuss how they might apply these skills to future challenges while balancing hard work with well-earned rest.
Scenario 2: They Did Well, But They Feel It’s Not Enough
What to say:
“I see how hard you worked, and I admire your high standards. Can we talk about what you were hoping for?”
“What do you think went well, and what might you try differently next time?”
“You can be proud of your results and still want to improve. Both can be true.”
What science says: Children with perfectionistic tendencies can struggle to appreciate their successes (Stoeber & Rambow, 2007).
What your teen/tween can say to themselves:
“I did well, and it’s okay to feel proud.”
“Every experience helps me learn and grow.”
What to do next: Work together to set small, realistic goals for next term. Encourage a mix of relaxation and growth over summer. They might use the Wisely & Co Planner to map out one or two positive habits to try, alongside time for creativity, sports, or simply unwinding with friends.
Scenario 3: Their Results Were Mixed — Some Good, Some Below Hopes
What to say:
“Let’s look at the big picture together. Where do you feel strongest? Where would you like to grow?”
“I’m proud of your effort across the board — let’s figure out how to build on it.”
What science says: Encouraging balanced reflection helps teens focus on next steps rather than dwelling on disappointment (Yeager & Dweck, 2012).
What your teen/tween can say to themselves:
“I can build on what I did well.”
“Struggles help me see where I can grow.”
What to do next: Create a simple, supportive plan. Perhaps they choose one area to strengthen using fun resources — like a math puzzle app or creative writing challenge. Combine this with rest, exercise, and a bit of adventure — whether that’s camping, a family trip, or exploring local places together.
Scenario 4: They Are Disappointed with Their Results
What to say:
“I can see how hard this feels. I’m here to listen and help you figure out next steps.”
“This is just one moment — it doesn’t define you. Let’s look ahead together.”
What science says: Validating feelings fosters emotional resilience (Gross, 2015).
What your teen/tween can say to themselves:
“I’m allowed to feel upset, and I can also try again.”
“This result is not the end of my story.”
What to do next: Encourage rest first. When ready, help them break big worries into smaller, achievable steps. Gentle journaling or planning small goals using the Wisely & Co Planner can support reflection and rebuilding confidence. Support them in reconnecting with interests or activities that make them feel capable and valued.
Scenario 5: They Feel Overwhelmed by Comparison to Peers
What to say:
“It’s really hard not to compare ourselves. But your journey is your own, and I see so many strengths in you.”
“Let’s focus on what you want and need, not what others are doing.”
What science says: Helping teens shift focus inward builds confidence (Nesi & Prinstein, 2015).
What your teen/tween can say to themselves:
“I’m on my own path.”
“I am not my results — they don’t define me.”
What to do next: Suggest activities that strengthen their sense of self — art, sports, volunteering, or learning something new just for fun. Consider a social media break to ease comparison stress. Journaling in the Wisely & Co Planner can nurture gratitude, self-compassion, and a growth mindset.
A Collaborative Path Forward
5 Tips for a Balanced Summer
1. Prioritise downtime — essential for well-being and for consolidating learning (Sonnentag & Fritz, 2015).
2. Choose one or two enrichment activities — reading programs, coding clubs, art classes.
3. Weave learning into daily life — cooking (math), journaling (writing), nature walks (science).
4. Encourage physical activity — bike rides, hikes, swimming, or dance to boost mood and health.
5. Model balance and positivity — show your teen that rest, learning, and fun can all coexist.
By responding with empathy, optimism, and curiosity, you help your teen see that exam results are just one chapter of their learning journey. With your support, they can approach the summer — and their future — with confidence, resilience, and joy.
We’re Here for You
Parenting tweens and teens isn’t always easy, but small steps can make a big difference. The Wisely & Co Academic & Wellbeing Planner is here to support your family every step of the way.
If you ever have questions, need advice, or just want to share your child’s progress, don’t hesitate to reach out to us at talktous@wiselyandco.com. We’re in this together, cheering for you and your amazing kids.
References
Cooper, H., Nye, B., Charlton, K., Lindsay, J., & Greathouse, S. (1996). The effects of summer vacation on achievement test scores: A narrative and meta-analytic review. Review of Educational Research, 66(3), 227-268.
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.
Gershenson, S. (2017). The long-run impacts of teachers: Evidence from teachers’ effects on student mindset. Economics of Education Review, 61, 24-40.
Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1-26.
Nesi, J., & Prinstein, M. J. (2015). Using social media for social comparison and feedback-seeking: Gender and popularity moderate associations with depressive symptoms. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 43, 1427-1438.
Sonnentag, S., & Fritz, C. (2015). Recovery from job stress: The stressor-detachment model as an integrative framework. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 36(S1), S72-S103.
Stoeber, J., & Rambow, A. (2007). Perfectionism in adolescent school students: Relations with motivation, achievement, and well-being. Personality and Individual Differences, 42(7), 1379-1389.
Yeager, D. S., & Dweck, C. S. (2012). Mindsets that promote resilience: When students believe that personal characteristics can be developed. Educational Psychologist, 47(4), 302-314.
